Bovine Flatulence

Catchy title, no? I’m rather proud of it. I can’t take the credit though, I was sitting in my team development workshop class super early this morning and a fellow team member was saying fun facts she had read about global warming, our group’s topic. Out of nowhere she said “cow fart”. I was out. It’s just one of those lines you keep saying in your head and laugh every time you hear it. But it went on-she explained that the article she read was about all of the pollutants in the environment, and how countries like India and china are the greatest polluters due to lack of recycling programs etc. Then another pollutant she came across was bovine flatulence, i.e. cow farts.
Funny I speak of recycling, last night I had the privilege of attending (bridesmaiding!) the most beautiful wedding eva! Now my friend is very clever, rather than having the traditional wedding cake that no one eats, she had tiers of cupcakes on a stand and each individual cupcake had one of those hard flowers. I must have eaten 4 or 5 of just the flower last night, but since there were doggy bags, I took home 2 more and I am noshing on one as we speak. I mean seriously, it was brilliant-everyone always fights over the flower piece on the cake, it’s my favorite part-I don’t even love cake-I love the flower. And I love custard. YUMM-OO.
On the way back from the wedding of the century, it was brought to my attention that I have yet another fan. Normally when writing my notes, the tags mainly go out to those who I know truly read it and would be honored to get the shout out. After meeting more and more fans, I realized there are so many fans that go untagged. So today’s note is dedicated to the anonymous fans. Now while on the topic of “anonymous”, I want to thank ALL of you for your good wishes. Yes last week was rough, fever was high, and without all you folks, I may not have made it through. So thanx you guys! Moreover, I want to thank the anonymous chicken soup donor. I still don’t know who you are, but for almost a week now, you have kept me very curious. Thank You.
The last thought of the night, was actually a topic suggested by a dedicated fan (Hi Aunt Jill!) regarding all you can eat buffets. Is it possible that these buffets are simply old food that the restaurant doesn’t want to use for the “real” menu. Is that why these buffets are usually earlier in the week? Truth be told, even if that were the case, that won’t stop me. Everybody loves leftovers!

Not That Side!

Head’s up fans-this is a bit of a dirty story to kick off with, so feel free to skip to the next paragraph. I know I don’t usually name-drop in these posts, but I think that that is what makes this story so special. I know most of you folks already heard it because I think I’ve told it over about 26 times in the past 4 days. Picture the scene, we are in a car o the way back from the L’chaim (engagement party/to life!). It was a cold rainy evening after an extremely long day of not eating. And as always Zloty was complaining about the walk from my house to the subway, “the walk from your house is so long, it’s even longer than Oceanside is from the highway”. Yitz, listening to this whining up in shotgun chimes in “yeah, it’s sooo long”. So me, with my quick comebacks responded accordingly. “you’re butt is so long”, to which Yitz replies…”not that side”. Thee ya go fans, was that dirty enough?
So on a different note (haha, funny every time), as we all know, this past weekend was Purim. This was our chance to dress up in costume and party the night away. Typically my Purim night is spent over at Yeshiva University-I’m all about the hock. This year since it fell out on a Motzash, we decided to spice things up a little. We kicked off the evening by going to see an outstanding yet uplifting off-off Broadway shpiel (skit). Next stop was a Purim party. When we saw there was no one there, we left (that’s a lie), and headed to YU. All I’m gonna say is I felt like a pork chop at a Bar Mitzvah. The boys’ side was all drunken high school punks and the girls’ side was even worse. It was super sweaty, girls dancing everywhere, guys with boobs trying to get in and a lot of screeching and hugging. So we headed back to the party which was super hopping at this point.
My take on Purim is that it is the cool thing to dress up. I personally, along with a dear gal pal, dressed up as a girl scout, probably the best costume I had seen all night. The funny part is, that most of the clothing I was wearing was actually my own clothing that had been worn at some point or other. While some costumes were clearly better than others, I feel that the following deserve honorable mention. Now this list only includes costumes that need an explanation. Without further ado, in no particular order-so no fighting, here’s the first list of March 2007:
1) The French kiss-it looked like a French person with a Hershey Kiss on their shirt. Clever.
2) Man going to the bathroom-guy walking around with a few magazines in his hand.
3) Victoria’s Secret Model-girl in all black, with sparkly eyelashes and larger than life black furry wings.
4) Traffic light-3 young ladies each wearing a different color and matching dot standing in traffic light formation.
5) Zloty-guy wearing a half zip argyle sweater from J Crew.
6) Clark Kent-guy with hair combed, shirt opened with a Superman tee underneath, and hair parted to the side.
7) White trash-dude in a trucker hat with a plaid button down.
8) The birthday party-girl wearing a table cloth with a piñata, balloons, goody bags and pin the tail on the donkey.
9) The albino Jamaican-guy wearing a ski cap with blonde dreadlocks attached.
10) A wall hanging-dude with a paper towel with slits in it on his back.
11) The final one is reserved for those in more obvious costumes. Shout to: Nikki Richie and Paris Hilton, Jesus and the wafer, the football player and Hatzolah boy, the pimp, and the Ninja Turtle.

Well done kids, well done!